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It’s not easy navigating any breakup in life, and that’s especially the case when children are involved. The healthiest outcome is that your children spend equal amounts of time with both parents, and that you keep a friendship with your ex-partner to help the children feel unaffected and understanding of why their new living arrangement was necessary.
However, it’s also true that as in any relationship in life, complexities, changing personalities, and disagreements can make this outcome less than ideal. For example, what if an ex-partner, now untied to you and your own values, has a lifestyle you don’t want your children around, or makes decisions you don’t believe your children should be affected by?
Of course, some have legal parameters on your side – if you both have shared custody, then they’re unable to get up and move away and take the children with them. But alterations in the decisions you make can be more significant than that.
In this post, we’re going to discuss a few disagreements you may have and how to counter them:
Know What You Disapprove Of & What You Can Change
You have to be consistent in what you disapprove of and really figure out why, as it helps you understand what’s in your power to change. Some things, like a new bedtime or a different diet, might just be different from how you parent and that’s okay.
Other things, like a new partner or a lifestyle you don’t approve of, such as welcoming new people into the household, partying, or having no limitations on their bedtime, can be a bigger concern. It’s always a good idea to focus on the things that could truly affect your children’s well-being and frame your argument around that in case you need to escalate, and also gain real proof of what’s going on.
Accept That Sometimes, You Have To Accept Their Decisions
It’s an unfortunate reality that you may have to accept some of your ex-partner’s decisions, even if you don’t like them. If the choices don’t directly harm your children, you might want to let them go to avoid constant conflict.
However, if you feel a decision is truly putting your children at risk, you could get legal help to mediate the situation. A firm like Harper Macleod Law Firm can help you formalize your concerns and make sure your children’s best interests are at the forefront of every discussion, which can give you peace of mind. That way, when you raise the legal issue with the family court, you’ll have the best possible standing.
Always Have The Doors Of Communication Open
Even if you’re not able to agree with your ex-partner, it’s always helpful to keep the doors of communication open. You can try to manage a set of rules for how you communicate with each other, such as only talking about the children and avoiding bringing up old arguments.
A difficult conversation is always better than no conversation at all, since it allows you to stay informed about what’s going on in your children’s lives when they’re with the other parent. It also shows your kids that their parents can still work together, which gives them a sense of stability.
With this advice, we hope you can manage a difficult scenario like this with dignity.
